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Yahari Analysis

Part 5: What is “genuine”?



First and foremost, for all intents and purposes, wanting something genuine is a Yukino route exclusive. I don’t really like that I have to talk about routes, but Watari decided he wanted his series to conclude in this way, so there you go. Your immediate response is to reject or deny this, but it is true. When Hachiman enters the Service Club in S2E8, his speech is primarily directed towards Yukino and it also affects Yukino the most.

It being a Yukino route exclusive is also confirmed by Hachiman giving up on wanting something genuine in ANOTHER, which is Yui’s route. One of the requirements for Hachiman’s “wanting something genuine” is wanting to know everything about another person, wanting to fully understand someone without the need for exchanging words. However that’s the thing he gives up in that universe.

Yui also admits in Volume 12 that she never wanted something genuine.

Considering how Iroha’s date with Hachiman from Volume 10,5 doesn’t end up with Hachiman and Iroha hooking up and because the word “genuine” doesn’t get brought up once during that entire volume, it’s safe to conclude that it also doesn’t apply to Iroha.

It also helps that the HachiYuki pairing is the only pairing in Yahari that is based on two characters getting to know each other.

-

Hachiman saying he wants something “genuine” is an incredibly important moment, because during the first half of the second season, after the Ebina confession arc, Hachiman and Yukino’s relationship was tested for the second time. The first time was during Sagami’s arc and because Hachiman found out about Yukino’s involvement with the car accident. The second time was because Hachiman was hell-bent on self-sacrificing his public image to solve other people’s petty problems and Yukino wanting to stop him.




There is no such thing as a stereotype bad man in this world. Under normal conditions, everybody is more or less good, or, at least, ordinary. But tempt them, and they may suddenly change. That is what is so frightening about men. One must always be on one’s guard.
All of a sudden, that quote came to mind. There are no inherently bad people. Everyone believes that, myself included. I don’t doubt the existence of virtue. And yet people bare their fangs when it seems they can profit.
People will rationalise their own behaviour whenever they become tainted with evil; they’re not supposed to be evil. In order to preserve their own twisted integrity, the world becomes twisted. Someone you praised as “cool” until yesterday is “stuck up” today; someone you respected as “smart and knowledgeable” is now scorned as someone who “looks down on bad students”, and “energetic vigour” becomes “annoying and overly carried away”. In order to convict crime in a twisted world, people wield a sword of justice. Since they can’t affirm themselves on their own, they team up with fellow conspirators. They talk among themselves about unscrupulousness and sinfulness as if it is a matter of course, and they’d purge the culture out of their feelings of justice. They’d make a mountain out of a molehill. If that wasn’t deceit, what was it?
-
Inside that closed world, you’d shake with unease at the thought of being next. So before that can happen, you find a scapegoat.(!) Then the cycle continues. It never ends. What meaning was there in building close friendships when you would be sacrificed for the sake of someone else’s dignity?(!)
-
I despise a world that emphasizes “everyone”. I despise the vulgar peace built upon the backs of scapegoats.(!) I despise the empty ideas created solely through lies(!), blotting away even kindness and justice, making them out to be mere opportunism, a thorn in your side with the passing of time. You cannot change the past nor the world. You cannot change what has happened, nor can you change “everyone”. But like I said before, it’s not as if you are obligated to enslave yourself to the system.


Hachiman’s actions from season 2 betray his ideals. He supposedly hates “peace” or relationships that are forged by self-sacrifice, but starting from Sagami’s arc he does exactly that. He has fallen into a routine where he sacrifices his own public image to solve other people’s problems under the pretense that his actions don’t affect others because he desperately tries holding onto his “I’m a loner, no one will ever care about me” mentality, but most importantly during Ebina’s arc, he did it to preserve the superficial relationship of a group that by no means has the right to exist if it can fall apart that easily. Then of course, he has fallen in a vicious cycle of lying to the ones closest to them, for the sake of remaining close to them.




Hachiman realizes that there was something that he used to share with another certain person and that his actions have made him lose that. Something he and Yukino both once shared. The difference is, Yukino didn’t give up on it.

Iroha’s arc happens. Hachiman suggests solving the problem in the same way he always does. Yukino objects. Hachiman and Yukino have their falling out.

Yukino tries to become Student Council President to stop Hachiman from self-sacrificing, but Hachiman undercuts her, goes behind her back and does incredibly underhanded things to make the problem disappear.

Hachiman refuses to admit that he was in the wrong and he continues lying and scheming to try and cover it up.



By making Yukino not run for SCP, Hachiman has “saved” the Service Club. Yui thanks Hachiman for preserving the Service Club for her. While Yui doesn’t want Hachiman to hurt himself, she realizes that this is the way Hachiman has been solving their problems all this time. Hachiman had to lie and use underhanded methods to save the Service Club, but to Yui it’s alright as long as things will be back to normal tomorrow.





Literally moments after the hair grooming, Hachiman is internally conflicted about whether he made the right decision and this is what goes through his head:

(LN exclusive)



Those words Yukinoshita said at that time still wouldn’t disappear.
The illusion of being understood was pleasantly lukewarm. Indulging it would only turn it into an inescapable quagmire. Imagine how comfortable it would be if you could cling onto it for as long as you wanted.
To understand each other was an extremely cruel illusion.
Just how much despair you would have to experience upon waking up from that illusion, I didn’t know.
The slightest of discomfort and doubt would act as thorns and form into unpleasant feelings that would bring everything to ruin.
I was supposed to notice something like that.
What I desired wasn’t to get along with someone just for show.
It was surely the desire for something genuine. Anything else, I didn’t need at all.
Even if you didn’t voice your words, they would still reach; even if you didn’t do anything, you would still be understood; even if anything happened, nothing would break.
It was an illusion so beautiful, yet so foolish and detached from reality.
She and I both longed for something that genuine.



>One of the first conversations Hachiman has with Yukino in Volume 1.



“It’s not as if I have ever wanted to be liked by people though.”(!) She asserted and then added only a few more words. “Otherwise, if people genuinely did like me(!) then that would have probably been a good thing.”(!)


The only reason Hachiman even wants something genuine is because he knows it’s something Yukino, the character that has been rejected her entire life and surrounded by superficiality, has wanted her entire life as well. Perhaps not so much in those words, but definitely the sentiment that comes along with it.
It also doesn’t help that starting from the end of Volume 7/S2E2 (fake confessing to Ebina) all the way up until Volume 9/S2E8 (where Hachiman says that he wants something genuine), Hachiman’s behavior and actions have been the exact opposite of what one would call “genuine”.

-

So, what exactly is this genuine thing Hachiman seeks?

Wanting something genuine is Hachiman wanting a deeper and emotional connection with Yukino, a long lasting meaningful relationship where Hachiman doesn’t have to wonder or worry about the reasons why a person would want to be near him. He wants to be rest assured that the feelings the other party has for him are real and not a misunderstanding. He wants to be loved and accepted for who he is and love and accept the other for who they are. He doesn’t want to be apprehensive or anxious about someone’s feelings for him being real. He wants to have something that is his and that will remain his forever, something that will never be lost, no matter how many hardships said relationship has to endure.

In the simplest terms: it’s pure incorruptible love.

In some ways it could also be seen as Hachiman wanting to be able to trust someone with his burden without having to feel guilty about it, because he knows that person cares about him unconditionally.

>Volume 6,5



Those that I could rely on unconditionally were my family members. I could not make that request for others to help me lessen my burden. I didn’t know how to as well. To learn such a method now was extremely difficult. Furthermore, if I were to rely on others with this feelings of guilt, it would be far happier if I were to suffer alone.


>Volume 8



But this was my just desserts. There was no one who I could ask for cooperation. The kind of relationship you were forgiven for being a burden to the other person was something I had not forged up until now with anyone.


Hachiman wants “genuine” to be something that he has to fight hard for to obtain. Anything that’s easy to obtain or simply “given” to him, isn’t worth keeping because it won’t last.




If what I wished for was granted to me, if what I wanted was given to me. Then, as I thought, I wouldn’t wish for anything nor want anything. Because the things you were granted and the things you were given were surely shams that would one day be lost.(!)
The things you wished for had no shape and the things you wanted were untouchable. Or possibly, they might be the most wonderful treasures ever that would become nothing if you were to touch them.
On that shining stage, what my eyes laid upon was the conclusion to that “story”. Here I was, not knowing what happens beyond it. That’s why I will surely continue to search for it for a long time.




Considering how Yukino’s intentions have been to make Hachiman a better person, but also to make sure that he gets friends and possibly a girlfriend, Hachiman saying: “I want something genuine” can be interpreted as him rejecting Yukino’s initial intentions. He doesn’t want relationships that are simply “given” to him. He wants something real. He wants the person with whom he’s been slowly developing a stronger relationship with, the person he’s slowly been getting to know over the course of the series, the person with whom he has constantly been clashing and with whom his relationship has been tested twice now yet he and this person always come back to one another; he wants Yukino.

Hachiman gives his “I want something genuine” speech twice. In both instances the above mentioned things are applicable. However the two speeches contain two separate meanings.

The first one is after Yukino tells Hachiman not to show up to the Service Club anymore since it’s very clear that he’s forcing himself to be there and him forcing himself to be there is only making him miserable. This is the opposite of what Yukino wants.

>After his talk with Sensei, Hachiman stays up all night, racking his brain as to what he has been trying to get. Why has he been solving all these problems this way up until now, for whose sake was he doing it?



Something that could be easily given to someone was surely a fake. Something that could easily be given away was surely something that could easily be taken away by someone.(!) During that student council election, Komachi gave me a reason. I moved with the position that I was doing it for Komachi’s sake, to maintain the Service Club’s ongoing existence.(!) That’s why I was probably mistaken that time.(!) Even though I should have acted with an answer and reason that I found for myself. Even now, I was looking for a reason to act from someone. For Isshiki’s sake, for Rumi’s sake, for the event’s sake.(!)
Were they all really reasons why I would act?(!) I feel like I’m mistaken about the prerequisites. The point I should be thinking about must be wrong. If I were to correct what’s right or wrong, then I needed to start from the beginning. To this day, what have I been acting for?(!) What was the reason?(!) I’ll trace back the events I had in mind earlier in reverse chronological order.
The reason the Christmas event needed to be a success was for Isshiki Iroha and Tsurumi Rumi’s sake. And the reason why I was helping directly with the event was because I had pushed the role of presidency onto Isshiki during the student council election. And during that election, why I did that was to keep Yukinoshita and Yuigahama from becoming president. Why did I want to keep those two from becoming president? The reason I received from Komachi was grounds for me to move, but the real reason why I moved was…
Was because there was something I wanted.(!)
In the past, it was likely that was the one and only thing that I wanted and that I didn’t need anything else(!), even going as far as to detesting them. But being unable to completely obtain it, I started to think it didn’t exist.(!) Yet, that was because I felt like I had seen it. That I even may have touched upon it. That’s why I was mistaken. I was able to make the question. Now I need to think. About what my answer is.
I didn’t know how much time I spent thinking. But the night dyed in blue began to dissolve as the sky faintly proceeded to whiten. I was thinking the entire time, yet I couldn’t think of a single way, plan, or strategy. No matter what logic, theory, reason, and sophistry I could think of, nothing came to mind.
───That’s why, this was probably it. This was probably my answer.



>What has Hachiman been acting for? What was his reason?


Out of fear that this time he might actually really lose Yukino, he digs deep within himself and finally comes to an answer. The next day he shows up in the Service Club and he musters up the courage to tell Yukino what he wants from her. Near the end of Part 1, I said how during the entire series Hachiman has constantly been pacing back and forth about whether he wants to know the real Yukino or not.

This is the moment where Hachiman is finally ready to want to know the real Yukino. Yukino has been a person that Hachiman has been “fascinated” by the moment he laid eyes on her.


To Hachiman, Yukino has also been a person shrouded in mysteries. Hachiman doesn’t know about her past or her current problems. He hasn’t asked those questions or gotten answers out of Yukino, because their relationship simply wasn’t at that stage yet. Yukino also hasn’t told Hachiman about the car accident and the real reason why the Service Club exists, because Hachiman didn’t allow her to explain the situation. Hachiman tried to keep her at a distance, to preserve his image of the ideal Yukino. A Yukino that is out of his league and would never take an interest in him. A Yukino that he wouldn’t get too attached to, where he doesn’t need to raise his hopes of there ever being something between them, because there is no way she would ever reciprocate his feelings.

However, now he doesn’t want to remain in the dark about her anymore. He’s finally willing to cross the line with her. He isn’t satisfied with simply understanding Yukino anymore, he wants to “know” everything about her. No more riddles, guessing etc. It’s time for Yukino to open up to him.

>It’s not mere words that I want, I want to know people inside-out.





Just what was I supposed to say? I had already said what I wanted to say, the things I had felt and the things that I thought of. I posed the question so I could start from the top. I was supposed to have thought of the words to make that happen. Now, there was nothing left. I had no more options. ───Ahh, so that’s how it is. The things I tried to say were ultimately, regardless of where I was and regardless of how much I considered, were just my thoughts, my calculations, my measures, and my strategies. But I still continued to look for the words I wanted to say, the words I needed to say despite not having an ounce of understanding after all that thinking. It’s not like they’d understand just because I said something, too. Saying anything would just be pointless. I didn’t want words. But there was certainly something else that I wanted. I didn’t want mutual understanding, friendship, dialogue, companionship; none of those things.(!) I don’t want to be understood. I already know that I’m not and I don’t dare to think I want to be. I wanted something far more cruel and relentless.(!) I wanted to understand. I want to understand. I want to know, I want to gain peace of mind for knowing. It’s because I’m terrified of not knowing these things.(!) It’s terribly self-righteous, egotistic, and arrogant of me to wish for complete understanding. It’s truly wretched and repulsive. It just makes me absolutely disgusted myself for even wanting that. However, what if… what if we felt the same way? What if a relationship where we could force that unsightly self-satisfaction onto each other, a relationship that could allow for that arrogance existed?(!) I know that’s absolutely impossible. I know it’s out of my reach. The grape that my hands couldn’t reach was, without a doubt, sour. But I don’t need fruits that were so unbelievably sweet.(!) I don’t need a sham of an understanding nor do I need a deceitful relationship.(!) What I wanted was that sour grape. Even if it’s sour, even if it’s bitter, even if it’s disgusting, even if it’s poisonous, even if it’s nonexistent, even if it’s untouchable, even if I couldn’t wish for it.(!)
“Even so…”
I could tell my voice was shaking.
“Even so, I…”
I desperately held in the feeling of wanting to break into a sob. Even though I had swallowed my voice and words, they continued to come out in bits and pieces. My teeth would grind noisily and the words were squeezed out on their own.
“I want something genuine.”


-




Yui is glad Hachiman wants to talk to them. “Wanting something genuine” pretty much passes by her, which is natural, because it isn’t really meant for her. Yui is glad Hachiman is opening up to them and showing his emotions.

Yukino on the other hand has an entirely different reaction. Yukino tried pushing Hachiman away for his own good. Instead of turning Hachiman into a better person, as she originally planned, Yukino feared that her influence over him has only made him miserable. On top of that, he is hurting himself (self-sacrifice) for her sake and he has also become a liar. She told him to stop coming to the Service Club for those reasons.

Throughout her life, Yukino has endured plenty of people rejecting her out of jealousy, abandoning her, betraying her, bullying her etc. to the point where Yukino doesn’t trust people and always tries keeping them at a distance.
In a lot of ways, Yukino is the “not chosen one”.

After Yukino told Hachiman to stop forcing himself to come back to the Service Club, instead of abandoning Yukino, Hachiman comes back the very next day and tells her that he wants an even stronger relationship with her. Now because Yukino hasn’t had enough chances in her life to emotionally grow (family issues, bullying at school, creating a barrier around herself to push others away), she has no idea how to respond to such an honest request. An honest request she has been wanting to hear someone say her entire life. It also doesn’t help that Yukino hasn’t been able to tell them about the car accident, the actual reason for the Service Club’s existence and the motives behind her actions. Then of course there’s the fact that Hachiman’s actions don’t make any sense either. Up until the day before, Hachiman had been lying to her, pushing her away, making it seem like he didn’t want to be in the Service Club anymore and telling her that he solved problems on his own, because he’s always alone. Then the next day, after being told to take a break, he shows up and says that he wants a stronger relationship with her. Yukino, being unable to deal with these newfound overflowing feelings, runs away.







(Yukino’s character song: A Crescendo To You)
--
I wasn’t able to be honest
Because of these feelings that I pushed away
All of these are really precious to me

--

After regaining her composure, Yukino tells Hachiman that she will accept his request.

-

From this moment onward, Hachiman gets exactly what he wanted. Yukino drops almost all her defenses and she is far more open and kind towards him. She also starts being more open and honest about her feelings.

>Bit by bit, Yukino more openly starts talking about herself, about her past and revealing what her “intentions” were for running for Student Council President.


>Yukino trusts Hachiman enough to “pour her wish” to him.

(Yukino’s character song: A Crescendo To You)
--
That time when I pulled at your sleeve
I poured my wish into those words, “Someday”
Something is beginning to change

--


>Hachiman gives Yukino a pink scrunchie, because for some “unexplained reason” it feels right.
(Drama CD exclusive: When the lights of those Christmas candles flicker…)



“Yuigahama’s blue while mine’s, pink…? I feel like this should’ve been the opposite.”
“No, that’s good, or at least I think…”
Just why I decided to do it that way, I wouldn’t have been able to explain it properly at all. I was at a loss even if I was asked. However, I felt that it was surely right, because it was something I considered in my own way; a conclusion that only I arrived at. It’s fine even if I didn’t understand it. I think gifts were just those kinds of things.


http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-pink.html



I think there were a lot of things that you wouldn’t be able to recognize just because you could see them.(!) Would there ever be a day I’d be able to notice the things I once overlooked?(!) With the guidance of the starlight and street lights, I smoothly took a step.
“Hikigaya-kun.”
“Hm?”
I turned around after being called to a stop, and standing directly in the middle of the crosswalk was Yukinoshita. Yuigahama had already finished crossing over and was looking at Yukinoshita with a slightly curious face. She stood there idly, tying her hair together, but when our eyes met, she gently combed through that hair with her fingertips. The pink scrunchie, highlighted against her glossy black hair, radiated even in the dead of night. Yukinoshita stopped her hand that caressed her hair, looking hesitant, but after seeing the start of the countdown of the lights, she quietly breathed in. She then opened her palm halfway and waved slightly back and forth.
“…Merry Christmas.”
“…Y-Yeah… Merry Christmas.” I was taken back due to her suddenly speaking up, but I somehow managed to reply back. Yukinoshita chuckled, expressing a small smile and briskly ran after Yuigahama who was waiting ahead. The two lined up and exchanged several words. Yuigahama then made a big wave with her hand. On the cuff of her hand was the blue scrunchie swaying back and forth. After seeing that, I turned my back once again.
“Guess I’ll go home…”
Despite having walked around the entire day, oddly enough, my steps were light, and I found myself starting to hum as well. The curtains of night silently descended, with the cold winds massaging your cheeks. Even so, the lights of the city were faintly warm like candles, tenderly illuminating the Christmas that was soon to end. Prayers that didn’t reach and wishes that weren’t granted surely existed.(!)

(If you remember from Volume 9, there was a certain wish Hachiman had, that if it came true would bring him happiness.)

But, peacefully, those, along with the clear exhaled breath, would surely be allowed, at least for today.(!) That breath that also shook someone’s light surely existed. Whether you were alone or with someone, Christmas would visit this year as well.




>Hachiman and Yukino share an intimate moment.



>Hachiman asks Yukino a very personal question and takes an interest in her.


-

However, at the same time, Hachiman’s biggest fears have also come true. He is slowly edging towards finding something out about Yukino that he didn’t want to know. Something that would imply that Yukino’s feelings for him aren’t the real thing he has been searching for.




Haruno’s words: “It’s not trust, it’s something far more sinister.” affect Hachiman deeply.

In the LN, this is the last moment of Volume 10. In the anime this is the first moment of S2E12.

Ever since Haruno pointed this out, Hachiman has been acting incredibly weird. If you’ve read Part 4, you should know that throughout Volume 11, Hachiman constantly mentions a certain feeling of unease that he’s trying to avoid. Sensei tells him to not give up on that feeling of unease and instead that he should always continue thinking about it.




“I don’t really feel like we’ve grown though. We keep doing the same things over and over again.”
“Even so, there will be more or less some changes.”
Hiratsuka conversed with me as she continued eating her chocolates. She swallowed the chocolate and proceeded to wipe her mouth with her finger. This action was sexy, or rather, youth-like. I laughed unintentionally.
Indeed, my impression of Hiratsuka-sensei had sort of gradually changed. Hence, other people’s perception of me would have more or less changed a little as well. However, towards this sort of change, I harbored a sort of fear(!), the type that was hard to put in words.
“Change, that huh…… To hear it mentioned like that, gives me a sort of weird feeling.”(!)
“A strange feeling?”(!)
Hiratsuka cocked her head and observed me. I felt embarrassed and turned my face away, and hurriedly continue on with what I wanted to say.
“Ah, something like discomfort and unease?”(!)
After saying it out, I felt an unexpected sense of satisfaction. That was something that had always been bugging me. That feeling would strike me unexpectedly at times; that feeling was somewhat different from what I had always felt. When I interacted with those people(!), a doubt would surge forth from the depths of my heart as I questioned myself, “Was this really right?”(!)
“Unease, huh…… I hope that you will never forget that feeling.”(!)
Hiratsuka-sensei was staring into the distance, and spoke in a tone that seemed like she was reminiscing of something. Although the target of her words was me, she seemed to be saying that to someone else as well.(!)
However, as expected, she was instead talking to me, and her gaze returned back to me.
“This is probably what they deem as signs of growing up. When you become an adult, you will often gloss over such things. That’s why, right now, I wish that you would take a closer look at this ‘unease’ that you are feeling.(!) This is extremely important.”
“But there’s a saying that says that important things can’t be seen.”
I said that on purpose to poke fun at what she said, to which Hiratsuka-sensei chuckled.
“You are not meant to see it with your eyes. You are supposed to look at it with your heart.”(!)
“Don’t think, feel. That sort of meaning? I don’t have that sort of force.”
What was this person talking about…… Was she just saying this for the sake of being able to say some lines from a shounen manga……. I looked at her with that sort of expression, and Hiratsuka coughed intentionally, probably from embarrassment.
“Just the opposite. Don’t feel, think.”
Hiratsuka-sensei who repeated her words once more, no longer had a joking expression on her face, her eyes was filled with kindness and sincerity. Slowly, quietly, she continued to convey her intentions to me.
“Towards this sense of unease, please, always continue to think about it.”(!)
“Always?”
I repeated that word, trying to digest the meaning of it completely. Hiratsuka-sensei nodded her head in reply.
“Un. Always. If you do, you will definitely be able to understand it one day. People don’t look back to see how much distance they have covered when they are walking. In fact, from the viewpoint of those who have stopped walking, the more they progress, the more they feel betrayed.”(!)
Hiratsuka spoke until here, and took one more look at the people in this room one by one.
“Right now, I am glad to be able to see this sort of scene up close.”
Saying that, Hiratsuka-sensei stood up.
“……After all, I can’t watch over you guys forever.”
Hearing that sort of voice, I looked at her, and saw Hiratsuka-sensei flexed her shoulders, and stretched herself lazily, making it impossible to take a peek at the expression on her face.



There are also a couple of things different about Hachiman’s attitude.

One of those being that there are no internal sonnets or long inner monologues about Yukino (about how when he looks at her he loses his breath or time freezes etc.), something that has been present throughout the entire series (mostly in the LN). Hachiman does point out what type of facial expression, color of her cheeks, neck or ears are or the tone of voice Yukino has while she says certain things, but he does that with every other character.

The first time Hachiman has a long inner monologue about Yukino during Volume 11 is during this scene, the scene where Hachiman and Yukino for the first time since Haruno’s words, spend some time alone:




Other than the light brown kelp, the vivid red and green sea anemone and the corals illuminating the area, the room was otherwise pitch dark. There was even a bench intentionally placed in front of the water tank, making seem all the more like a small movie theatre. Yet, there wasn’t so much a figure of anyone sitting down there now. It was deserted to say the least. However, in the direction of the water tank where the light was spilling out, the faint shadow of a person standing there could just be made out against the dark backdrop. That standing figure. There was no way I could mistake that for anyone else.
Yukinoshita Yukino.
Her appearance, illuminated by the dim light of the water tank in the darkness, caused her to resemble a painting. I couldn’t call out to her. The breath that I wanted to spit out was stuck at the back of my heart. Therefore, I stopped walking. Noticing the break in the sound of the footsteps, Yukinoshita turn towards my direction. She made a gesture that vaguely seemed to be nodding her head. With that, I began to walk towards her, little by little.
-
The figure of her extending her hand, it looked like she was about to be sucked into the water and yet, she was unable to return to the place she ought to go, owing to the obstruction by the glass wall. Just like the bubbles disappearing, this moment was short-lived. The room was quiet; not a single sound could be heard. The sound of the bubbles gushing forth and bursting open could not reach us as it was blocked by the glass. As I watch Yukinoshita stare into the water tank as though she had been isolated from the world. As we stood there, the sound of one footstep could be heard.




>Another thing that should be noted is that Hachiman doesn’t participate in his usual banter with Yukino, but instead responds internally. He does communicate with Yui (however this is emphasized more in the anime):




>Hachiman is happiest in the present, because he’s afraid of the future.


Hachiman has essentially given up on Yukino. He is afraid that her feelings for him aren’t genuine. Throughout most of Volume 11, he is doing what he can to avoid her. He would gladly “cover this feeling of unease under the snow”. He even seeks refuge in Yui, bringing up the “promised date”.

>During Volume 6, Hachiman didn’t want to take advantage of Yui’s kindness, because he feared that there might be more to it than her simply being nice to him. In Volume 11 on the other hand, he would gladly take Yui up on her kindness, as long as it meant he didn’t have to address Yukino’s feelings. Hachiman is essentially looking for an easy way out.



But I went out of my way to find Yuigahama and even relied on her. I was allowing that. It was really easy to rely on Yuigahama.(!) However. That’s exactly why I needed to keep myself in check.(!) To blindly place unrestrained faith in someone is dependence.(!) I mustn’t rely on Yuigahama’s kindness. I mustn’t let Yuigahama’s good will spoil me.(!) Her kindness was something that created painful memories, made you worry and agonize over them, and wring them out. And I knew all of that. That’s why I mustn’t place my trust in her so easily. On the slim chance that all of that weren’t due to her kindness or good will(!), but due to much more different emotions(!), then I had to be even more careful.(!) Because that was simply taking advantage of a person’s weakness.(!) Feelings should be managed appropriately. Distances should be maintained suitably.


>In Volume 11, Hachiman being fully aware of that there are girls that want to give him chocolates, decides to go full Hayato, just so he doesn’t have to address Yukino (and Yui’s) feelings. At least not during said event.



“Ah, you see......, how should I put it.....as expected I still can’t really say it openly, or maybe I just read too much into things......”
This sort of worry was really like her. Hearing her, Isshiki nodded her head.
“Ah, that is so like Yui-Senpai. So kind.”
“Is that, so......, ahaha...... Just like me, huh......”
Yuigahama laughed awkwardly at Isshiki’s words, and had a slightly dejected look on her face. She was probably shy from being praised. It’s probably just that. Or rather, she was the same as Hayama Hayato. Because they were both kind, they were probably suffering from being too concerned about others. Thinking about it, Yuigahama was on very good terms with Hayama, Miura as well as Isshiki. Her trouble with getting caught between the three of them had already surfaced during the ride to Destiny Land, and it was all the more obvious now.
‘Ah, such a huge problem......’ It was very easy for an outsider to make such a comment. However, I was unable to do so. I had a hard time understanding why someone would keep worrying about the relationships between others. However, I had the same feeling as her.(!) That feeling of wanting to obtain a conclusion.(!) Probably, Yukinoshita felt the same way as well.(!) I could tell from Yukinoshita’s expression that she was quite concerned over Yuigahama’s dark mood.(!)
For example, if I could obtain the same conclusion as Hayama(!), then perhaps everything I have done up till now was a waste of effort. Hayama Hayato, who has chosen to live up to everybody’s expectation, has decided to fulfill it flawlessly. To undertake the greatest compromise without compromise. Dedicating himself to using such a measure to prolong such a life. There was nothing as sincere as this insincerity. For such a kind person, there wasn’t much that an unkind person could do. The most they could do was to engage in monologue, or to repeat the same thing over and over again.
“…… Well, isn’t it enough to just use an excuse? Some sort of official reason to convince Hayama.”(!)
“Just as long as you get him into a position whereby he’s forced to accept it, or rather, whereby he can accept it naturally.”
“For example…… Don’t mention Valentine’s Day, just get him to taste it. Something like that, I don’t have an exact idea.”
“Well, something like that. Whether it’s Isshiki or Miura, as long you made it with Hayama and get him to test its taste, that guy will have no way of rejecting you.”(!)



-

>Hayato and Haruno are fully aware of what it is that Hachiman is doing and they call him out on it. Hayato simply shows that he is disappointed in Hachiman.
(LN exclusive)



With a short greeting to me, Hayama used his eyes to urge Miura and Isshiki to go on ahead without him. Both of them tilted their heads in puzzlement as they proceeded to the hall. After sending them off with a gentle smile, Hayama glanced at me.
“Hikigaya, are you going to be tasting the food as well?”
“Well, probably.”
“......So it’s like that”(!)
Hearing my answer, Hayama narrowed his eyes. He seemed to be having trouble enduring something before a small laugh escaped him.
“What......”
His eyes looked at me as though he had seen through everything(!), and his smile had a trace of pity in it.(!) That look and the way he spoke made me feel the way I felt when I saw him face to face, irritated and annoyed. Because of that, the voice in which I would reply him was rather sharp. Thereupon, Hayama shrugged his shoulders and shook his head slightly. His expression was meek. That curious, mature air that he was giving off just now had disappeared.
“Ah, nothing. I think that you are really suited for this job.”
“Huh?”
“You like sweet things, right?”(!)
Hayama spoke in a teasing manner and pointed with his finger to the can of MAX coffee in my hand.(!) No, well, I do indeed drink MAX coffee quite frequently......
“That’s why.” Hayama added on softly, before sauntering off towards Miura and Isshiki who were waiting for him at the hall. Whoa, that was dangerous. I was nearly moved by the fact that Hayama-kun knew what drink I liked in that instant. Although I most definitely won’t.
......Rather, I wasn’t really feeling that great. If I didn’t come up with these sort of pointless jokes to distract myself, I would find myself thinking about all sorts of other things. This was probably the same for Hayama as well. Hence, he had probably chosen those topics to talk about on purpose(!), and then evaded them just as skillfully as well.(!) Drinking the rest of the MAX coffee in a single gulp, I gripped the can tightly, even though I know that I would be unable to crush it flat.
-
My mission was now completed without a hitch. Just as I was thinking to go back since I had done what I was supposed to do, I heard the light sound of metal behind me. I looked in the direction of the noise, and saw that the noise was caused by Hayama flicking his finger against a coffee can. He was waving two coffee cans about, and with his smile, asked me wordlessly if I would care to have a can. Well, I guess that even Hayama would be more or less tired after having to put up with both Miura and Isshiki for so long. Perhaps he wanted to use me as an excuse to take a break from them. In any case, I wasn’t doing anything anyway.
With a ‘Oh’, I nodded my head slightly and Hayama took a seat at a kitchen table nearby Miura. I followed his suggestion and moved a seat there as well. When I sat down, Hayama placed a can of coffee in front of me. The brand showed that it wasn’t MAX coffee, but BLACK coffee. Seeing me look at the brand name again and again, Hayama gave a bitter smile.
“You want it to be sweeter?”(!)
“Not really.”
Even I, had no interest in drinking something sweet now.(!) Besides, I still had to eat chocolate after this. I opened the can of coffee, and drank it in big gulp. Hayama did the same as well, and with a ‘Fuuuuuuuuuuu” exhaled greatly. There wasn’t any sort of conversation between us, just the sound of coffee cans hitting the table as well as the occasional sighs that escaped our mouth. This sounds of this exchange replaced any possible conversation and continued on intermittently. From the weight on my hand, I knew that I was nearly done drinking the can, when Hayama suddenly said, “Even so.”
“I thought about it properly as well.”
“Huh?”
My reply to him was serious, as I really had no idea as to what he was trying to tell me. However, he gave his usual Hayama Hayato-like smile that everyone was familiar with and continued on gently.
“If it’s like this, then everyone…… everyone can behave more naturally that way.”(!)
Saying that, he took a glance round the cooking room. Following his gaze, I could see all sorts of things happening around me. Miura who was looking at the weighing scales seriously, or Isshiki who was whistling as she operated the oven, or Yuigahama whose face was flushed pink as well as Yukinoshita who was hugging her head as she watched Yuigahama. Soon, Hayama’s gaze returned to me again. That expression that he now had was one that I knew fairly well, a lonely bittersweet smile that was characteristic of Hayama Hayato. The ‘everyone’ that Hayama spoke of. Who was he referring to?(!) And who was included in this ‘everyone’ that he keeps referring to?(!)



-

In a lot of ways, MAX Coffee is symbolism for Hachiman and Yukino’s relationship.

>Yukino is canonically also a MAX Coffee drinker.

>During their “date”, Hachiman and Yukino share a can of MAX Coffee.

>After helping Rumi out, Hayato approaches Hachiman with a can and starts talking to Hachiman about what happened to him and Yukino in the past. (Hayato doesn’t offer Hachiman a can of MAX Coffee in the LN.)

>After the Ebina confession arc, after Hachiman and Yukino weren’t on good terms, Hachiman buys another drink instead of MAX Coffee, because “something isn’t right”.

>Hachiman is drinking black coffee, when he is helping Iroha behind Yukino’s back and when he is lying to her about how he’s not helping Iroha.


>Sensei gives Hachiman black coffee, when she lectures him about emotions and genuine etc. and how Yukino (and Yui) do matter to him.

>When Hachiman and Yukino make up, Yukino gives Hachiman MAX Coffee.

>The end card of the series is Hachiman and Yukino sharing a can of MAX Coffee. Two things of importance:
1. This is after the second time Hachiman gives his “I want something genuine” speech.
2. The episode title is: Spring, Bound Beneath the Thick Snow, Begins to Sprout.


Hayato offers Hachiman BLACK Coffee, because he doesn’t think that Hachiman, the way he is acting now, deserves MAX Coffee (if you get what I’m implying). A couple of episodes/volumes ago, Hachiman was making such a big fuss about how he was better than Hayato and how he only wants real relationships, but now he’s acting exactly like Hayato. Hayato understands Hachiman, because he himself is no better, but he pities him. Hachiman had gotten so close to what he wanted, only to give up on it the last moment when he got confronted with something that he didn’t want to know about.

-

>Haruno on the other hand uses a slightly more direct approach.



Yukinoshita Haruno, a person whereby there was a meaning behind all her meaningless actions.(!) She was here today because there was something she wanted to do.(!) She wouldn’t show up anywhere just because her kouhai asked her to. This time was no different. That person, will be as her name suggests, she will expose everything under the broad daylight.(!) Whilst all the time, hiding everything about herself from everyone.
-
The sweet cookies, the warm red tea, having all these, were more than enough to make me satisfied. It should be so. That’s why, once again, in my throat, I murmured that I was really happy.(!) And yet, that feeling of unease still existed within me.(!) Just as I felt that, I heard the sound of high heels steeping on the floor. That person didn’t seem to be interested in hiding the fact that she was approaching us, in fact she seemed to be bragging out her existence. Step by step, she approached us, and revealed herself. Noticing the high-heel sounds, Yukinoshita stole a glance behind me. Her brow furrowed nearly instantly. Just by these alone, it was sufficient to deduce who it was behind me. It was Yukinoshita Haruno.
“Nee-san. What’s the matter.”
Haruno-san did not answer Yukinoshita’s question. Rather, she looked at me straight in the eyes, silently. Her fingers glided across her mouth, those seductive lips slowly opened.
“This is Hikigaya-kun’s genuine things?”(!)
The instant she said that, a chill ran over my spine, and I averted my gaze from Haruno-san’s face instinctively. However, Haruno-san would not allow me to escape(!), and she took another step yet again to close the distance between her and me.
“This moment in time, is what you meant by the genuine article?”(!)
“……I don’t know.”
I had no idea of how to come up with a meaningful answer. Haruno-san’s question had in it a sense of coldness, but also at the same time, it was also genuine. As though it was telling me that she really didn’t understand, that she couldn’t comprehend this at all. That voice, sounded like she was forsaking me.(!)
“Nee-san, what are you trying to do?”
“That, that’s right, this, th, that……”
I raised my hand gently, stopping Yukinoshita and Yuigahama who was about to speak, having been unable to tolerate this anymore. Right now, the person who was being asked was me. From the start, I didn’t need to do anything. Yukinoshita Haruno didn’t seem to be interested in anything else apart from my answer.(!) She looked at me intently, noticing my each and every action, noticing each of my breaths.
“Is that it? ……I thought that you weren’t this sort of person.”(!)
Saying this, she approached my back, and lowered her head and looked at me eye-to-eye.
“Are you really that boring?”(!)
The distance between us was so close that I could feel her breath, that this distance was so close that I could touch her just by moving a little. Yet, that sentence felt as though it came from somewhere shockingly far.
“If I was that interesting, I would have already become the class popularity king.”
“That is something that I like about you.”
Seeing how I answered her whilst looking away, Haruno-san laughed as though she had found something funny. Then, she finally took a step away from me. If she were to leave like that I would be more than happy. However, Yukinoshita Haruno would not do that. I had known long ago she wasn’t such a generous person. Haruno-san was a step away from us, and glaring at all of us.
“……However, you are all so boring currently. I… kind of prefer the Yukino-chan of the past.”(!)
That sentence caused me to catch my breath. I felt that my face was stiffening. Although I had no way of looking at the expressions of Yukinoshita and Yuigahama who were looking down, I dare say that their expression and mine were the same. I willfully decided that for myself. Haruno-san seemed to have realized that no one could answer her and took a short breath. Soon, the sound of the high-heels gradually grew further. Hearing that voice, I understood very clearly what she was trying to convey.(!) The words hidden behind Yukinoshita Haruno’s words, that this was not genuine.(!) I agree.(!) Met with this type of situation, these sort of relationships, there was that feeling of discomfort that I had.(!) Due to lack of experience, because I wasn’t used to it, hence, I had always thought that these were merely feelings of discomfort. I had always thought that with the passage of time, I would get used to it, that I would be able to accept it.(!) Even so, she did not overlook this. Something that had frozen and had clung on to my chest. The restless cold that was within me. The feeling of disgust that had always been there but had not revealed itself even until today. Things that I didn’t want to think about(!), had all been pointed out by Haruno-san.
“That is not trust, but something more unforgivable, more awful.”




They walk Yukino home and encounter her mother. After that the three of them go their separate ways.

On his way home, this is what goes through Hachiman’s head.

>Because Hachiman doesn’t believe anymore that what Yukino feels for him is genuine, he wants to “cover it up under the snow”.



Ignoring everything else, I began to pedal my bike non-stop, and as opposed to my body which was starting to get heated up, my mind became completely chilled. What I appear to be.(!) What she appears to be.(!) What our true self appears to be.(!) No matter who it was, we all have our personal image that had always been determined by others, one that was always slightly off the mark.(!) Whether it’s me or her, we were all the same.(!) Our true selves and our appearances always seem to differ from one another. This was a fact that was easily understood without the need for anyone to confirm it. Because, this was what I had said so in the past. This was what the Hikigaya Hachiman of the past had always been saying. Was this really okay? Was this your desire? Was this Hikigaya Hachiman?(!) That jeer, that angry roar, that howl; I closed my eyes and shut my ears to prevent myself from hearing them. What replaced the words that should have come out of my mouth, was a hot sigh.
Our true self was something that not even ourselves could assert. Then, this genuine article. Where can we actually find our true selves?(!) Why was it that in this world, our relationships were defined by this sort of thing? Unease.(!) Once I give this a more definite name, I would no longer be able to think of it as just mere unease.(!) This feeling, this relationship, was something that cannot be defined.(!) It was something that must not be given a name.(!) One shouldn’t discover the meaning of such a thing. Because, once one appends a meaning to it, it would lose all of its other functionality.(!) If I could just admit it, it would surely be easier for me, but the reason why I did not do so, was because I knew. That if I mold it into something else, if I were to change it, it would only lead to its corruption.(!) Because what I wanted was something incorruptible(!), I had always avoided giving it a name. Whether it was me, or her, were we all clinging onto these shapeless words?(!)
My brain was full of such thoughts. At the very least, I wouldn’t have to think about this extra stuff if the snow would just fall and cover up and hide away all these sort of thoughts.(!) However, snow was extremely rare in this city, and tonight, the night sky was not muddied and was perfectly clear. The light from the stars were ever so bright, and illuminated me ever so distinctly.



>Yui tries to encourage Yukino to give Hachiman the cookies/chocolates she made. Hachiman still tries to deny his and Yukino’s feelings.



Seems like there wasn’t going to be any visitors today. The clubroom had a relaxed atmosphere flowing about it like always. As I enjoyed this faint sense of relief, I continued to turn the page of my paperback. Yuigahama sprawled herself lazily on the table, fiddling about with her mobile phone whilst Yukinoshita was taking off the lid of the teapot, and poured another cup of red tea. Then, she placed her bag on the table, and from it, took out a small paper bag. Opening the bag, sound light rustling sounds could be heard as well as the presence of a sweet smelling fragrance. Seems like this was some sort of snacks to go along with the tea. Yukinoshita poured them carefully onto a wooden plate. I took a glance at it, and realized there was an assortment of them, ranging from the chocolate chip with jam, or cookies with checked patterns as well as multi-colored ones. From the types of cookies as well as the paper bag, I could infer that they were probably not brought from a shop.(!)
“Ah, are these all hand-made by you?”
I saw Yuigahama’s eyes sparkling with anticipation. Yukinoshita’s skills in cooking was undisputed. Including the cooking event just a few days ago, she has already demonstrated her cooking prowess several times. Each time, Yuigahama would have a great feast. Hence, there was nothing surprising there. Although this should have been the case, but upon hearing Yuigahama’s casual comment, she seemed to not know how to answer her.
“……Eh, yes. I made a bit last night.”
Then, she lowered her head slightly, and then she played about with the edge of the plate with her fingers, and took a small breath. Then, she sneaked a glance in my direction.(!) With her gaze downwards, her head and arms were also not moving. From the gap in her bangs, I could tell that she was hesitant to look at me directly and was now regarding me with some restraint. Her actions would cause anyone to be discomposed. Yukinoshita’s mouth opened slightly before closing tightly again, as though she was having trouble deciding whether or not she should say it. I noticed those cherubic lips of her more than ever and instantly averted my gaze. Then, the entire clubroom lapsed into silence.
“I see…… I did try to put in some more effort since that time, but it’s still not as good.”
Yuigahama seemed to dislike the silence that was caused in the previous instant, and tried to smooth things over with a laugh. She fiddled about with the bun of hair on her head as she shook her head.
“My house’s oven range seems to have spoiled. It keeps making those weird noises and won’t bake anything at all.”
“That’s probably because it is just a microwave oven.”
Saying that, I sighed. I was probably relieved by her usual display of stupidity. Yukinoshita too, was covering her mouth with her hand, trying to hide her laughter. Then, she placed her school bag on her knee and took out yet another small paper bag. She had probably decided to give this bag to Yuigahama. The bag was decorated with a cute pink ribbon and had cat paw prints on it.
“If you would be so kind as to accept this.”
“Is it really okay!? Oh, oh! Thanks!”
“The things inside are more or less the same.”
Yukinoshita added in a line of apology to Yuigahama, who had received the bag with great joy.
“Uun, I am really happy! Yukinon’s snacks are super tasty.”
Yuigahama hugged the paper bag tightly to her chest. Then she held it in her hand and looked at it gently. Blinking her eyes several times, she looked at Yukinoshita.
“Eh…… there’s only my portion?”(!)
I understood the meaning behind that question and instinctively looked away.(!) I tried to continue reading the paperback in my hand without shifting my head back, but found that it was impossible. Why did I have to look away?(!) I noticed the ‘Ding’ sound that the bowl made, echoing throughout my ear. Even if I didn’t look at it with my eyes, I couldn’t block out the noises that were coming from inside me.(!) What I could do was to try and bury them with my thoughts.(!) Willfully trying to understand, willful self-awareness, willful expectations. Whether or not she had prepared some for me, it was strange to try and derive some meaning out of it.(!) This club has only three people. Even if I was given it, it would be just an obvious consideration on her part.(!) When you try to give such stuff deeper thought, to try and decipher some sort of meaning behind it, then you were already being overly self-conscious.(!) Thinking about this sort of thing was disgusting. To frantically tell yourself that whilst not acting on it was repulsive as well. These sort of repulsive and disgusting things were definitely wrong. Although I was determined to bury such thoughts in my head(!), my restless feelings would not calm down. I pretended to comb back my hair and my restless eyes looked about the surroundings. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Yuigahama’s mouth stiffening. Her white and thin throat moved all of a sudden.
“What about Hikki’s?”(!)
There was no need to help me ask.(!) No, it’s not like I really wanted it.(!) I am being serious.(!) However, I did not say that out loud.
Yuigahama’s voice and eyes, were looking out for others like always. She posed the question ever so timidly, but even so, I could see her left hand that was originally on her knew, grasping the hem of her skirt tightly. Seeing her like that, the words that I wanted to say stuck in my throat.
“Ah, no, I don’t really……”
I clumsily stuttered those words out. The mood was growing heavy, and then came the sound of Yukinoshita’s sigh. Yukinoshita gripped the bag that was on her knees tightly, and then placed it under her arms before silently pushing her chair aside and standing up. Leaning herself against the long table, she stretched out her hand and pushed the plate of cookies in front of me.
“If you would.”
“Oh, oh……”
I tried to give a reply but her eyes did not meet mine, and was constantly looking towards the side. The side of her face was illuminated by the evening sun. Perhaps it was due to the cloudy weather, but the evening sun today seemed to be a deeper shade of red than usual, and the whole clubroom was dyed in red. Her eyes and neck were dyed red, her lips trembling slightly in embarrassment and those long eyelashes kept flickering as she blinked. I hesitated to look at her directly and hence, I closed my paperback harshly instead, and reached out for the cookies.
“……This is delicious.”
“I know right!”
Yuigahama leaned forward to reply me after she heard my non-committal murmur. Then, she took a cookie herself, bit down on it and placed her hands on her cheeks in joy.
“……Is, is that so. I made it like how I had always done so.”
Watching our response, the tension seemed to ease from her shoulders as she answered and then, she finally returned to her seat. The cookies were placed at the center of the table, the correct place where it should be.(!) Steam rose from the teapot and teacups. We talked about our thoughts regarding today’s red tea and snacks, sometimes lapsing into silence, where some of us would be either playing with our mobile phones or reading a book. Then, we would once again break into conversation and the sound of laughter would fill the clubroom from time to time.



>Yukino wants to give Hachiman chocolates, but since all of these feelings are new to her and because she has lost her self-confidence, she needs Yui to be there to help her out. The three of them are at a crossroads of not knowing what to do about this situation.


(LN exclusive)



“Not good at deception……”
Those were the words that Komachi had used to describe me, but the me of today could not readily accept that with conviction. I would never try and get close to others, but, neither would I take the initiative to distance myself from others.(!) I was aware of what I was doing, drawing a clear line, plainly covering it up(!), trying harder than usual to dull it, not dwelling on it, playing the role of the observer to the extreme. I had always known that I was placing myself in an unfair position. In order to not confront it, to not acknowledge the discomfort and unease that had always been bugging me, I had chosen to keep my distance.(!) I was more than aware of it, that I did this so that I would not make any blunder. I know that there is only one answer and that this was not it. Even so, I still wanted to suppress them. That is why, this was probably why that person could see through my intentions.(!) Once more, a voice from within tormented me. Are you really such a person, Hikigaya Hachiman? Is this really what you wish for, you bastard? Stupid noisy fellow. Don’t just go running your mouth and shut the hell up when you don’t know anything about me. In the end, from then on, I lapsed into silence.


From this moment onwards, Yui invites the two of them out on the promised date to sort their feelings out. Yui knows that both Hachiman and Yukino are holding back their feelings.

Yui applies pressure to Yukino, forcing Hachiman to step in. Hachiman says that Yukino should be the one that solves her own problems and the one that decides her own future. He tells her what he wants is something genuine.

The final chapter of Volume 11 and the final episode of Season 2 is called: The Spring, buried underneath the snow, begins to sprout.

Hachiman decides not to want to bury his, Yukino and Yui’s feelings underneath the snow anymore. It’s time to bring everything out into the open.

>Yukitoki is a song about Yukino waiting in this “sunlit room” for someone to “melt and thaw her”. Basically it’s about her waiting for someone to find her, the “real” Yukino, waiting for someone that deserves a special place in that empty space she has kept safe; her heart.



I’m in this sunlit room, waiting for all of it to melt.

Cold rain comes down from the clouds and only the distant breeze of Spring can clear it away.

The day I waited for without realizing has already melted away with the snow and soon Spring will come.

That small room I kept safe still has that empty space.
I never knew that I was fine with it being just the two of us.



http://gendou.com/amusic/lyrics.php?id=11614&show=2

(The Flower That Bloomed in the Frost)
--
Even if we don’t say anything, it seems like we still understand each other.(!)

(Hachiman and Yukino are often times able to communicate without the need for exchanging words. This is one part of Hachiman’s: “I want something genuine”. Hachiman wants to know someone so well or know every single thing about a person, so that there’s no need for him and this person to exchange words to understand one another.)

The time passes by as usual, doing the same thing day after day.
In my own personal space, thinking of something,
I didn’t know when it happened, but ever since I came to know you, my heart started to waver.
I hope that one day, I will be able to tell you how I truly feel
The sky that is stained with vivid colors. It’s so beautiful I want to tell you about it.
Even during the times we quarrel, it was surprisingly fun
Rather than read the book I want to read, I want to meet you.
Someday, if you come to know all about me,
(!)

(This is essentially Yukino’s commitment to fulfilling Hachiman’s request of wanting something genuine. In Volume 12, Yukino is going to fully open up to Hachiman about herself and tell him about her past, her current situation and other things he may want to know.)

I hope to be able to laugh heartily by your side.
I wish to spend time with you, just the two of us
Though troubled, I am happy for the bonds that we forged
(!)
Your gentleness that reached me, will brighten up tomorrow.
Hate it or like it, it will be as brilliant as always.
With my feelings that cling on stubbornly, I want to hug you gently.
The time that quietly slips us by, becomes a treasure as well.
You will discover a radiant smile, as beautiful as the flower that blooms after the snow melts.
(!)

(Once the “snow” melts, Hachiman will discover a beautiful “flower”.)
--
https://soundcloud.com/michael-linggoputro/sets/yahari-ore-no-seishun-love

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