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Yahari Analysis

Part 3: Even Yukinoshita Yukino tells lies



Near the end of S1E8 we find out that the car that hit Hachiman belongs to the Yukinoshita family. After his talk with Haruno in S1E9, Hachiman comes to the conclusion that even Yukino tells lies.





“Of course not. There’s absolutely no reason for me to do that, not to mention that I have never received chocolates from Nee-san even until today.”
“Uh, that’s indeed true.”
Haruno-san nodded her head, indicating her understanding, and then, she smiled bitterly as she sighed.
“Well, Yukino-chan say she wouldn’t be giving me and so she definitely won’t be doing so. She has never lied after all.”(!)
This point was very close to my impression of Yukinoshita in the past. However, Yukinoshita Haruno definitely had a greater understanding of her than I had in the past.
“But, there are still times when she wouldn’t say the truth.”(!)
Haruno-san was looking at Yukinoshita coldly as she said that, a great change from her previous warm and cheerful gaze.(!)
“You didn’t say that you were not going to give it to anyone. That means you are indeed going to give it to someone.”
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Yukinoshita doesn’t lie. It’s just that she doesn’t say what’s true. There’re also times where she’d try to cover things up in an incoherent, roundabout way. I knew all of that.


Yukino doesn’t tell lies, as in: say things that aren’t true. However, she doesn’t tell the entire truth either, specifically in the situations where it’s an emotionally heavy topic for her.

>“I wasn’t able to convey this to you because of the way I am. But I want to talk straight with you.”


A key difference between Hachiman and Yukino while growing up is that no one really wanted to be friends with Hachiman and almost everyone avoided him because they thought he was creepy. With Yukino on the other hand people wanted to be friends with her, but for the wrong reasons. Yukino has always been incredibly beautiful, smart and popular. The people that wanted to be friends with her, wanted to be friends with her because they thought hanging out with Yukino would elevate their social status. This is one of the biggest reasons why she hates superficiality.




“Since I have always been cute, boys who approached me generally did so harboring feelings for me.”
“I believe it began during my final years of elementary school. Ever since then….”(!) Yukinoshita’s expression was different from what it was just previously. It was a little melancholy.

“Well, being liked has gotta be somewhat better than being constantly hated. You’re spoiled. Too spoiled.” I blurted out after that unpleasant memory just crossed my mind.
Yukinoshita gave a short sigh. It seemed a lot like she was smiling but yet her expression was clearly different.
“It’s not as if I have ever wanted to be liked by people though.”(!) She asserted and then added only a few more words. “Otherwise, if people genuinely did like me(!) then that would have probably been a good thing.”(!)


(Yukino is the first character to introduce the concept of liking someone genuinely for who they are, as early as Volume 1. This is pretty important, because it shows to which character this means the most and why Hachiman wants this as well.)

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“That’s what everyone says at first. But they all end up doing the same thing. They get jealous of Yukino-chan, hate her, reject her, and then start ostracizing her… I hope that you’ll be different from them.”
Her smiling expression was so sweet that it was fierce, to the point frightening.
“…I,” said Yuigahama, pressured, but continued. “Won’t do something like that.”
She glared right back, not removing her gaze. Haruno-san took it head on and shrugged her shoulders and then looked at me. “Hikigaya-kun, you understand what I’m trying to say, right?”(!)
“Yes, more or less.”
There’s no way I wouldn’t understand. I’ve been witness to it more than enough. Yukinoshita wasn’t the only one; anyone who was above the others was ostracized by groups. The protruding stake didn’t get smashed in. It would get pulled out and tossed aside, only to be left in the rain and wind to rot.(!)
“Right, right. I really like those eyes,” said Haruno-san.
I turned towards Haruno-san and our eyes met. Her eyes were cold enough to send chills down my spine. Suddenly, she smiled. “Hehe, you really are something else, Hikigaya-kun. I like how you look at things so curiously and give up.”
It didn’t feel like she was praising me at all. There’s no second guessing here because anything this person said had something hidden in them. You shouldn’t believe people who’d take a positive part of you, compare it with another, and say they liked it. “I really like your senses~” and “I like that. Your senses, too…” were completely different. Source: my time in middle school. I wouldn’t fall for a trick description like that at this point.



In the end, Yukino’s “friends” end up rejecting her out of jealousy. Yukino, having been betrayed by her friends (Hayato being one of them) and having a bad relationship with her family, loses faith/trust in humanity. It’s the reason why she avoids any interaction with high school kids and why she pushes everyone away from her.


>It’s only natural that Yukino came to think this way. Right now, she’s living a peaceful school life.



“Good afternoon. I thought you weren’t going to come anymore.” That smile of hers was certainly foul play. It was on the same level as Maradona’s ‘Hand of God’.
“I-it’s not that big of a deal! If I didn’t turn up I’d lose so that’s the only reason! D-don’t get the wrong idea!” This was a little like a romantic comedy type conversation. However we’re playing opposite roles - it’s like I’m the girl and she’s the guy. This sucks after all.
I didn’t get the feeling Yukinoshita was particularly offended by my remark. That is to say, on the other hand, she continued conversation like she didn’t even care about my response.
“When one is lambasted to that degree, they wouldn’t normally come again….Are you a masochist?”
“No…..”
“A stalker, then?”
“Wrong again. Hey, why are you assuming that I’ve got a thing for you?”
“You don’t?”
This bitch. She nonchalantly cocked her head in puzzlement and made a confused face! It was a little cute but I’m not buying any of it!
“As if! Even I’m put off by that presumptuous attitude of yours.”
“Yes, I was convinced that you liked me.” Yukinoshita said without being particularly surprised. Rather, she wore her usual, unchanging cold expression.
Of course, Yukinoshita has a cute face. Cute enough that even I, who has no friends and interacts with no one in this school, know of its existence.
There is no room for doubt about the fact that she is one of the most beautiful girls in the school.
However, her self-confident behavior is abnormal.
“How were you brought up to be so naive? Was everyday your birthday? Or was Santa Claus your lover?” If that weren’t the case, her mind wouldn’t be trapped in this delusion of happiness.
If she were to keep going at this rate, it surely wouldn’t be any different from going through a painful experience. She’d better change the way she’s going before she passes the point of no return.
It seemed some compassion from within the deep recesses of my mind surfaced. I decided to choose my words carefully and convey the message indirectly.
“Yukinoshita. You’re abnormal. You’re totally delusional. Get a lobotomy or something.”
“Is that you trying to be frank for my own good?” Yukinoshita chuckled and looked in my direction, but her eyes weren’t laughing - they were scary.
But well I didn’t say she was garbage or worthless or anything like that. She could have at least commended me for that. Frankly, if her face wasn’t cute, I’m sure I would have hit her.
“Well, considering your low social standing you may perceive me as strange. However, it’s only natural that I came to think this way.(!)
It’s something I derived from experience.”(!) Yukinoshita laughed with her shoulders pulled back proudly. The fact that even that kind of gesture could look good on Yukinoshita was a mystery.
“Derived from experience you say….”
She must be alluding to experiences of a romantic kind. It’s obvious if you simply consider her appearance.
“You’re talking about your super fun school life…” I murmured with a sigh.
“Yes, yes. That’s right. It would be correct to say that I’m actually leading quite a peaceful school life.”(!) Yukinoshita responded at once. Despite that, for some reason Yukinoshita had a distant look in her eyes(!) and her gaze was directed away from me. Thanks to that I found myself thinking that the gentle curve of the outline of her chin to her neck was beautiful. A piece of information so worthless, I could die.


>Yukino distanced herself from others.


>From ANOTHER.



I dare say that Yukinoshita probably had the same experience as Yuigahama. Or rather, she probably chose to get involved with people as little as possible as her self-defense measure.


Now, she obviously hasn’t given up all hope, since she is willing to get closer to Hachiman and Yui (at first out of a sense of obligation because of the car accident, later on because she actually started to like them), but it takes a while for her to grow close enough to them so she can fully trust them and open up to them.

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This then brings us to the following: even Yukino lies. If you’ve paid attention, Yukino has told three “lies” in the series. Once again, not so much lies as in that she says the opposite of what the truth is, but more that she doesn’t tell the entire truth.

The first one is obvious, since it was pointed out in the series: Yukino told Hachiman that she didn’t know him. Technically this wasn’t actually a lie, since Yukino didn’t “know” Hachiman near the beginning of the series and after all of the events in the first half of the series, the two of them have actually started to “know” each other or at the very least understand each other.


The actual untruth here wasn’t whether Yukino knew who Hachiman was or not, but why the Service Club exists in the first place.

Like explained in Part 1, the reasons why Yukino hasn’t told Hachiman about the Service Club’s real existence are:

(Before Hachiman enters the SC:)
1. Hachiman is too proud, he doesn’t want anyone’s pity. Yukino, after seeing that he is not doing anything with his life for an entire year, feels like this is somewhat her fault and that she should do something about this. Telling Hachiman the reason why he needs to join the Service Club would have resulted in a flat out rejection.

(After Hachiman and Yui joined:)
2. When Yui leaves the Service Club because of the “nice girl” speech (and later on because she thinks Hachiman and Yukino are an item), Yukino decides that this is the time for her to tell the truth.

However, this is Hachiman and Yui’s moment of reconciliation. Yukino can’t just butt in and suddenly reveal that she was also a party involved in the accident and make the situation even more complicated than it already is. Instead she puts the blame on the instigator (herself) and tells them that the two of them can start over.




It’s because it was Yuigahama’s birthday that it was still vivid in my mind. A momentary break of clear weather in the rainy season. A girl wearing a lonely smile(!), the offensive red glow of the sunset raining down on her from behind. At the time, she had undoubtedly drawn a line.(!) A line indicating that she was different from the two of us, the victims.(!) Exactly what was that boundary line?(!) Now I was finally beginning to understand what it was.(!)


Hachiman asked Yukino if he could be her friend. There are several reasons why Yukino says no to this.
First off, Hachiman doesn’t “know” Yukino yet at this point and that Yukino has gone through a lot of hardships in regards to personal relationships. Her entire life, Yukino has faced nothing but rejection (Hachiman obviously as well), so it’s difficult for her to accept someone’s friendship so soon, especially if it’s for superficial reasons, which will ultimately lead to Yukino trusting Hachiman and him betraying her.
(Or at least, that’s what her thoughts were at the beginning of the series.)

But most importantly, she can’t be his friend, because Yukino knows that if Hachiman were to ever find out why he is actually in the Service Club, he would never be able to forgive her. Yukino telling Hachiman that they can be friends would only make it worse. From Yukino’s point of view (near the beginning of the series) she is simply doing this out of a sense of obligation, due to her personal beliefs of justice. The two of them can never be friends, because they met under the wrong circumstances.


3. Yukino wasn’t able to tell the truth, she missed her chance. Haruno picked Yukino up with the family car. Yukino and Hachiman don’t see each other for the remainder of the summer vacation. On the first day of school after the break, Yukino wants to tell Hachiman the truth, but he doesn’t want to hear it. His image of the ideal Yukino has been broken and he feels betrayed. He had held Yukino up on a pedestal and it came crashing down. He’s mostly angry with himself for starting to feel hope again. She was supposed to be the one person that would never betray or disappoint him. He believed Yukino was different from the rest, but she turned out to be just as human as everyone else.

4. Hachiman and Yukino have their first falling out, but Hachiman quickly forgives her after seeing her suffer during the Sagami arc. Yukino, who has known nothing but rejection and people abandoning her, realizes that her relationship with Hachiman is much stronger than any relationship she has had before. They make up, but Hachiman still struggles whether or not he wants to know the entire truth. On one hand he does, on the other he is afraid of the answer, so he chooses to feign ignorance. Yukino asks him if he is ok with not clearing the misunderstanding, Hachiman tells her that you can’t change the things that have happened. Excuses are meaningless. Hachiman and Yukino have restored their relationship, but they still haven’t entirely opened up to each other. The entire issue about the car accident ends at the halfway point of the series and it doesn’t get brought up from this point onward.


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The other two untruths Yukino has told, happened during the same conversation, during the moonlight scene in S1E7.





Yukinoshita smoothed down her hair, as if to signal she was changing the topic.
“That girl… we need to do something about her.”
“You’re really going out of your way for a girl you don’t even know.”
“We’ve been doing things solely for people we don’t know this whole time. I don’t extend a helping hand to people I know through association. Besides… don’t you think she resembles Yuigahama‐san somewhat?”(!)
“You think so?”(!)
I never thought that way at all. In fact, there was someone right here who resembled her far more.(!) Yukinoshita looked up at me with an ever so slightly lonesome expression on her face.(!)

(Throughout Volume 4, Hachiman often makes references about how it’s like Yukino is looking back into her distant past when Yukino is talking to, looking at or talking about Rumi.)


Yukino says that the girl Rumi reminds her of is Yui, because supposedly Yui experienced a similar experience. (Probably with Sagami and Yumiko)

In the previous novel (Volume 3)/episode 6, Yukino was disappointed in herself about how little she knew about Yui (and vice versa, Yui also doesn’t know that much about Yukino, which is something that sticks all the way until Volume 10 and 11). She simply guessed what Yui’s birthday was based on her contact info (from her phone/mail address). She also didn’t know about any of Yui’s interests, but now all of a sudden she knows about Yui’s past?

>If Yukino would have any reason to think Yui experienced a similar situation in her past, it would be because of this conversation.



“If that girl seeks help, we will make use of every means at our disposal,”
Yukinoshita declared, her voice firm with conviction. A frigid and unwavering will lay behind those words. You’re way too cool, Yukinoshita. If I were a girl, I’d be totally head over heels for her right now. I mean, come on, Yuigahama and Komachi were already enraptured by her. That answer seemed to satisfy even Hiratsuka‐sensei, because she nodded eagerly. “So is she looking for help, you think?”
“…that I do not know.”
Right, it wasn’t like she had asked us for anything. It wasn’t like we had explicitly confirmed her desires. Yuigahama tugged on Yukinoshita’s sleeve. “You know, Yukinon, I don’t think that girl can talk about it even if she wants to.”
“You mean nobody would believe her or something?” I asked.
Yuigahama hesitated a little before she answered. “Yeah, that could be it too, but… Rumi‐chan said herself that a lot of people got shunned. She was in on it herself at the time. I guess she wouldn’t be able to stand it if she was the only one who asked for help. I don’t think Rumi‐chan’s the only one in the wrong - everyone’s like that… even if they want to talk it out and get along, they just can’t find the right moment. But they still feel guilty…”
Yuigahama cut off her words there. Ever so slightly, she fought to control her breathing, and then she laughed sheepishly in order to change the subject.
“Aha, that was a bit… er, very embarrassing thing to say. I mean, it takes a lot of courage to talk to someone everyone else isn’t talking to.”
Yukinoshita gazed at Yuigahama’s smile, a bright look in her eyes. Under normal circumstances, it would take courage to talk to a loner indeed. Yuigahama had been nervous about entering the clubroom at first. And yet she overcame that and spoke to Yukinoshita and me. That probably did make her seem dazzling to the eye.
“But y’know, maybe Rumi‐chan’s class can’t not go along with it? If I speak up, I might get shunned too, I’d think, so I’d be like gotta put some distance between us for now or I want some time to prepare, and then I’d end up like that too… oh nooooo! I said something really horrible just now, didn’t I?! Will I be okay?!”
Yuigahama jumped in alarm and peered at everyone around her for their reaction. But not a single person showed her any animosity. Everyone had a smile on their lips betraying difficult emotions - pained smiles and surprise and sentimentality. Yuigahama really was amazing. If I were a girl, I’m sure I’d want to be her friend.
“You’ll be fine. I think that was very characteristic of you…” Yukinoshita answered softly in a whisper. Even though it was so quiet, hers was the kind of voice that betrayed deep emotion. Yuigahama seemed to have been embarrassed by what Yukinoshita said, because her face turned red and she fell silent.



However, even Yukino is aware that Rumi resembles herself far more than Yui. In Volume 4 there are a couple of moments where she says a few things that show that she experienced something like this as well. She just isn’t ready to share that sensitive information with Hachiman yet, instead she says that it’s for Yui’s sake, because Yui may have experienced something like that as well.

Hachiman says that he never got that impression and that the person Rumi reminds him of is standing right in front of him. If that’s not enough of a convincing argument, then simply look at Rumi and Yukino. They made the two of them look alike, to get across that the bullying Rumi goes through is a representation of what Yukino went through as a child (although for different reasons).

(I couldn’t find a better quality picture of this.)

-




“Also…” Casting her eyes downwards, Yukinoshita kicked a pebble near her feet lightly with her toes. “I doubt Hayama‐kun will ever get his mind off it,” she said at length.(!)
“Yeah, he does have his mind on it, I guess.”
“That’s not it…” Yukinoshita said uncertainly.(!)
As soon as she spoke, her words were swallowed by the sounds of the forest, leaving silence in their wake.
“Hey, did something happen with you and Hayama?”(!)
You could say that Yukinoshita had a sharp attitude towards Hayama or that she treated him coldly. I could sense that the first time Hayama came into the clubroom. During this training camp, her attitude had become even more striking. When I voiced my question out of slight curiosity, Yukinoshita answered perfectly evenly as if it was nothing. “We went to the same elementary school, that’s all.(!) Our parents know each other as well.(!) His father is the legal advisor for our company. His mother’s a doctor, by the way.”


The third one is when Yukino says that Hayato is simply someone who she went to elementary school with. She also says that their parents know each other and that’s all there is to it. But clearly there’s more to it than that.

Why didn’t Yukino tell Hachiman everything in full detail?
As stated, Yukino is someone that has trouble opening up to people. Rumi being bullied was something that reminded Yukino of something crucial that happened in her life that has made her become the way she is. This is Yukino’s first attempt at opening up to Hachiman about herself, but she’s not ready yet to tell him everything. Hachiman and Yukino’s relationship simply wasn’t strong enough yet for her to entirely trust him and open up to him. By that time Yukino had definitely warmed up to Hachiman a lot, just not enough to burden him with her past (or at least not the full gist of it).
Yukino never meant to burden Hachiman with her own problems and traumas. Up until this point, she has been trying to change Hachiman into becoming a better human being. It was never her intention to get him involved with her own problems, however since Hachiman has taken a keen interest in Yukino since the beginning of the series, over time he has started wanting to know more about her.
This all changes when the first “I want something genuine” speech drops. Hachiman says that he doesn’t want to be in the dark anymore. He doesn’t need to be understood, he simply wants to understand. He wants to know the real Yukino. (More on “genuine” in Part 5)

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The most important thing to take away from this entire part is that the one “lie” Yukino told, is not telling Hachiman the truth about why the Service Club really exists. From now on, every time you see “Yukino’s lie” mentioned, it’s basically about that. Once again, the main reason why Yukino doesn’t tell Hachiman is because she knows how Hachiman would react if Yukino told him (you’re a nice girl, you don’t have to worry about me, I would have been a loner even without the car accident) and Yukino still feels the need to make it up to Hachiman.

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